I can't sleep. I dont know if I have already wrote about this but it seems like I have insomnia. I could blame it on stress, or the little problems during my day that bug me, but I am not sleeping. It's making me cranky, and unable to focus.
Just a Random thought

Keeping Up

I cannot handle keeping up with this blog. It is so difficult, particularly when I have stressful weeks and this gets forgotten. Finals are coming up and its stressing me out already. I am preparing myself for a nervous break-down.
Just a Random Thought

stress

I am slowly spending every second, of every day, in a state of stress. I can't sleep at night because I cant relax my body, I have chronic back pains because I literally carry my stress on my back and I am barely functioning emotionally because the only thing I can think about is what is due next, what I have to get in the next 24 hours. I hate stress. Maybe its my fault that I have so much stress but I can not take on the stress of knowing I am stressing myself out so I will continue to blame it on School and friends.
Just a Random Thought

Winter

Unlike most Colorado citizens, I am not a fan of Winter. In the slightest. Sure the homemade cookies, crackling fireplaces and winter snow make it a light hearted time of year, that is, for the first week. Despite the fact that I was born six days before Christmas, and my boyfriend and I will be celebrating the big one year anniversary 7 days before Christmas and 1 day before my birthday should make it a fun-filled time. I still dislike this season. Everyone seems to forget that we are hardly ever granted snow-days, even when its blizzarding outstide and my risks increase by a good percantage of getting in an accident. What do I want for Christmas? A raise in my insurance. The winter holiday becomes one of the most stressful months of my year. I have to worry about my finances because no one wants to be the giver of the shit gifts and I think that my favorite teachers all deserve something special for putting up with me and my craziness. Then I have family which deserve something extra fantastic because they love me unconditionally. which can be a struggle at times and of course friends who keep me sane during the school day and fill my weekends with adventures. Not only are my finances constatly on my mind, but so are finals. Oh yes. We all seem to forget that finals are a HUGE part of our grades, something that I am constantly studying for. Reviewing everything that I have ever learned, striving for that perfect 4.3. AND on top of everything else its just plan cold.
Just a Random thought

burnedd

I just burnt two on my right hand and one on my left making a mug cake. I can barely type and I hope that this extreme effort I am putting in will somehow give me extra credit. I have a very low tolerance for pain and this burn is about to push me through the pain. UGH.
i need to get ice and first aid training.
Just a random thought

Fall Break

I think I am turning into a workaholic. There. I said it. I've spent the majority of my break scooping poo, mopping pee, and lovin' on every dog that walks through that swinging door. I have picked up shifts left and right, and doubled the hours that I initially intended to work. I have been exhausted, cranky, and I've loved every minute of it. Some teachers say they teach because of that moment when a student 'gets it.' It's a similar feeling with dogs. Some dogs pick you. They decide they love you more than anyother camp counsler. I was picked for the first time this week. Not by one dog, but two. They fought over me, peed on me to mark me as their terriotory (which I did NOT enjoy and made it very clear to them) and loved me. Those two dogs made my whole week worth it. Its hard to explain to people who do not work in this type of buisness. See, its the dogs that make all the bad things better.
Just a random thought

Fall

So I do not really have anything exciting to blog about but I figured I had to post something so, I am extremely relieved to have a fall break. It seems as though everytime this year my stress mounts to the point of myself becoming very sick.from strep to the flu to random faints something always happens. I am proud to say I have managed to stay healthy.

homecoming game

We lost to valor.
Dissapointing yet expected. I painted my face half gold / half black hoping that it would be that magic thing that made us win. As you know, it did not work.
We lost a football game yet gained school spirit. It was unexpected of how many people showed up. I had to park at wendys because the parking lots around shea were filled. Everyone there was supporting our boys from the moment they walked onto the field and ever when we were down 36-0 (maybe it was 38) I have never felt so much school spirit bouncing through the stadiums, well not at rock canyon atleast, and I have to say it was incredible. It was like i could feel everyones energy and excitement of it actually being a BIG DEAL.
WE STILL LOVE YOU FOOTBALL BOYS <3
Just a Random Thought.

Dont you dare not dance - Rachelle

I understand why parents would be against grinding. My parents for one are and have made it very well known that they disapprove. I also understand the student bodys argument, partly because I have grinded a few times in my life. My freshman year had the best dances, before the dance policy had interrupted the growing school spirit (which Rock Canyon desperatly needs) This year, less and less people are showing excitement for homecoming week. Half the school hates the theme, the other half loves the theme but would rather party for free then pay to leave the dance. The school officals sent out an email to my parents this weekend, and all the other parents as well. I had to laugh at the irony of some of things. It was stated that they were not promotting a nightclub atmosphere, yet they held prom last year at a nightclub. They wanted to promote good, clean, fun, yet they know the majority of the student body will go to a party thats promoting weed, alchohal, and the end all, grinding. They say not to grind and I ask how else are we supposed to dance. Sure theres ballroom, but theres hardly enough room on the dance floor for something so eleborate, yes I could try to tengo or salsa but they wont be playing that kind of music, sure we could sway our hips side to side but that might be considered sexual. I could try jumping up and down while fist pumping but apperently my feet are not allowed to leave the ground. Am I attending homecoming? Of course, but I also plan on leaving. I am not saying there shouldnt be a dance policy, I am just pointing out the flaws of the current one. Do people need to be whipping out condoms? HELL NO. Do the dance rules need to loosen up a bit and allow the student body to have a homecoming again? HELL YES.
Just a random thought

I am not afraid

For those that dont know, I work at Camp Bow Wow castle rock and i love it! I love working, I love the dogs, and I even love cleaning because I find it oddly relaxing. Last weekend though, I helped break up one of the more minor dog fights that theyve had. It was crazy, everything happened so quickly, one second were putting dogs in there kennels the next second a dog opens the gate and a fight broke out. Because of the quick reaction of my fellow workers none of the dogs were injured, none of the workers were injured, and most importantly we broke it up quick enough that the pack mentality didnt even have one second to set in. The veterans at camp bow wow probably didnt even consider it a fight because of all of the reasons previously stated, but never have I seen a dog for no particular reason attack another dog at random. Maybe in dog world the tension had been mounting up between the two but from an outsiders vantage point it was completely at random. This made me look at how humans judge other cultures and although an outsider they decide to attack. Maybe there was never a build up, a simple desire to be alpha...this can even be seen throughout history when Europe decided to settle in America and attacked the settlers to todays world when people fight wars and eachother because of the color of their skin or they god they choose to worship. The fight indirectly brought me to a simple question: Who am I to judge another? Who am I to tell people that their god (or lack of god) is wrong? Who am I to tell someone I am better than them because the color of my skin or the neighborhood I come from?
Just a random thought

Rachelle Art

So this weekend I went to a street market/farmers market and I met this super cool artist lady name Rachelle. She had these wicked awesome quotes that she created and the drawings were adorable. I am pretty much obsessed now. So, I decided that every week I am going to pick one of her quotes that match how my week has been and put it somewhere in my post. I guess you could say wow, thats way to lame, but I dont know, I think it might help me learn to express myself or itll help keep me optimistic (did you know that optimistic people live longer then pesstimists? Its proven!) or maybe itll just get me through high school. "Sometimes she cries and has big, sloppy emotions...and it's okay" Everyone reading this has know idea how accuratly this fits my week.
ps. if you want to check her out heres her website: http://rachelleart.com/
Just a Random Thought

Relationships

Relationships are rough. Today I found myself wondering how far I would go for my boyfriend. My friend was telling me a story about how she drove herself all the way to Wyoming for her dearly beloveded, to buy him nothing more than illegal fireworks. Another friend once told me she had written down every answer on a test then gave her boyfriend the answer key because he just had to score an A. Many people have extreme stories for the things they do for their significant others and it made me wonder, is that really love? Am I depriving my boyfriend by not showing extreme signs of affection by driving 4 or more hours or helping him cheat? Or perhaps I need to be more affectionate in general, because the couples that are so "in love" seem to be the couples that practically are having sex in the hallway, when I barely give him a kiss and consider holding hands enough PDA for the day. I guess I always thought love could be expressed through simplier things, such as respect, kindness, jokes, teasing, and being there for one another when no one else is. Apparently, times are changing and I am having trouble keeping up with these new socially acceptable norms.
Just a random thought.

Teen Mom

I dont know if many people watch teen mom but I personally love it. I think it puts a lot of things in perspective for me at least. I think young girls get this distorted picture in their head that everything will be perfect when itll be a daily challenge. In most (not all!) but most situations girls that have a child as a teenager have a higher chance of being a single mom and living below the poverty line. By watching Teen Mom i think it gives teenage girls a relastic viewpoint of how it would really be to have a child as a teenager with and without parental support as well as the role father could play in the babies life. It really makes me ask the question to myself: What would I do if I was pregnant?
Just a random thought

Harry Potter

So, unofficially of course the homecoming theme has been announced. In case you aren't up to date its Harry Potter theme. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVE HARRY. I would marry him if such a thing was possible. My only question now is this: Are we expected to wear a cape and wand to the dance? Is Rock Canyon trying to revolutionize homecomings across the nation? I think its almost funny how Harry Potter is taking over our muggle world, first we created Harry Potter World (Which I am visiting this fall break) and now we are allowing an entire week of our lives to be consumed by Harry, needless to say HP7 (part 1) comes out November 19th which will most likely involve eating stale popcorn and seeing my favorite wizard 4-5 times in the course of a weekend because I love him that much. It's true, Harry is taking over, and I am not completely sure this is healthy.
Just a random thought.